Lead by Example not just Preaching
As parents it is our duty to build strong foundation of life for our children. However most of us make one classic mistake of giving advises & only advises. But interestingly our strongest method of teaching is when we exhibit the same on our own. It is not at all hard to understand. My child is more observant than me is a thumb rule any parent has to accept to frame a broad parenting method.
What we want our Child to Learn?
If we try to understand in a general manner these are few essential things any parents want their kid to learn.
· Emotional Coping Ability
· Problem Solving Ability
· Decision Making Capability
· Healthy & hygienic Habits
· Essential Survival Skills
When we say that our kid should be ready with at least these aspects in our supervision, do we really mean that? Because we simply don’t apply them in our lives adequately this is keenly observed by our kids.
How do we lead by example?
· Be Self-Aware
Every parent should be completely aware of his/her conduct. If we expect our kids to respect elders/others, we should do the same in front of them. Never make fun of people or pass lose comment behind anyone’s back. Be consistent in your mannerism & talks at any point of time.
· Use Affirmations for Reinforcement
Irrespective of the fact that we are parents and we are expected to behave in certain manner, ultimately we all are human. We behave & function according to our upbringing & external influences. Hence, it is very much necessary to write down every bit of change we want to bring in ourselves for the betterment of our kids. It can be something like “ I will refrain from making fun of anyone” or “ I shall not reach late to any place than committed time.” These tiny affirmations help us in improvising our lives & also make us the ideal role-model for our kids.
· Make use of a Diary to Follow
It is never late to implement the old-school methods. Sometimes during the hustle bustle of our daily lives we falter at various places. Like if we want our kid to follow a disciplined exercise routine, first thing is to include the same in our own daily activities. For such kind of discipline a diary can be a great help. It can be a traditional pocket diary or a new-age digital one.
· Accept Mistakes/Flaws in Front of Kids
We all will surely try to best of our ability to be a role model for our kids. However there will be times when we also will falter. In some cases your kid will also point out these anomalies. Please do not shy away or feel offended when you encounter such situation. There is no shame in accepting & correcting own mistake. Always openly accept your limitation & without fail demonstrate your intent & efforts to correct them.
· Get rid of your fears/inhibitions
Many parents want their kids to be all-rounder. Now the challenge here is that the parents themselves may not be so skilled. Therefore the first thing is to show your courage to try that thing. Like if a parent wishes their child to learn swimming should not show fear of water? Or at least should try & minimize the phobia by exploring the water to a certain extent.
· Do not advise something which You don’t follow
This point is the fundamental essence of this entire discussion. A man who is completely dependent upon his wife for tiniest thing like finding glasses & making tea simply should not advise his son to be independent. As the child will always find his father seeking help & will wonder what is wrong if he is doing the same.
Telling our kid what to do will not be as effective as showing them how to do. As, theory has always been underrated compared to practical. Hence be the change you want, don’t just ask for it.