Is yelling really necessary?

Parenting is not very easy. Apparently, owing to our age & superior position in the family we as parents should be able to dictate our terms in the house. Right? Ha ha …it’s a nice thought to have. But, in reality something really different happens. Every parent struggles a lot in establishing their authority over their kids. However, why do we have this urge of having authority in parenting? Now we will certainly address the elephant in the room; The Yelling. I am sure we all have exercised this weapon in less or more frequency to gain control over our kids. However, common sense suggests that it is indeed not a very effective tool after some point of time. Let’s see, why?

Why do we yell?

The answer for this is very simple in our minds; because kids don’t listen. Some will say that it helps in getting obedience from kids. In different age groups the reason is different. For small kids, they are often not adequately attentive towards our instructions. So we yell & try to grab their attention. However, little older kids pose a different kind of challenge. They don’t agree to obey easily. Under this scenario we yell & try to get some success in dealing with them.

Short term solution

We all may not agree upon this but yelling has a very short span of life as an effective parenting tool. I would rather say it is not at all a desirable tool for parenting. We all have experienced our kids gaining resistance towards our yelling day by day. They grow stronger & more rigid towards our yelling & we need to keep increasing our intensity on a regular basis. Have you thought, how far can we go with this? Well, honestly I feel yelling is something which requires more efforts & also add bitterness in our relationship with the kids. And the biggest thing is in many cases is that kid also starts showing such aggressive behavior which is simply our own reflection.

Alternatives for our Rescue

When I present my case against Yelling, I don’t escape without offering suitable alternatives. So, let’s see some of the options which we parents still have which may help us to get some discipline & obedience out of our kids.

·       Give clear instructions in calm yet firm voice with proper eye-contact.

·       Take their acknowledgement of having heard you properly.

·       Do not give threats but explain consequences.

·       Do not use the word punishment very often but make sure to exercise consequences if they falter.

·       Explain & discuss emotions related to obedience with them & be ready with logical answers for their queries with regards to discipline.

Several researches have suggested negative effects of yelling on kids in a long term. These kids lack severely in exhibiting self-confidence. They develop unnecessary aggression & feel anxious. Kids who face yelling a lot also let people bully them in their social surrounding owing to lack of confidence. Well, all these reasons are enough for us to understand one simple thing that yelling is simply not a solution. Perhaps the alternatives will consume more efforts in short run but they will surely prove to be a more robust tools for a mindful & effective parenting.