Is yelling really necessary?
Parenting
is not very easy. Apparently, owing to our age & superior position in the
family we as parents should be able to dictate our terms in the house. Right?
Ha ha …it’s a nice thought to have. But, in reality something really different
happens. Every parent struggles a lot in establishing their authority over
their kids. However, why do we have this urge of having authority in parenting?
Now we will certainly address the elephant in the room; The Yelling. I am sure
we all have exercised this weapon in less or more frequency to gain control over
our kids. However, common sense suggests that it is indeed not a very effective
tool after some point of time. Let’s see, why?
Why
do we yell?
The
answer for this is very simple in our minds; because kids don’t listen. Some
will say that it helps in getting obedience from kids. In different age groups
the reason is different. For small kids, they are often not adequately
attentive towards our instructions. So we yell & try to grab their
attention. However, little older kids pose a different kind of challenge. They don’t
agree to obey easily. Under this scenario we yell & try to get some success
in dealing with them.
Short
term solution
We
all may not agree upon this but yelling has a very short span of life as an
effective parenting tool. I would rather say it is not at all a desirable tool
for parenting. We all have experienced our kids gaining resistance towards our
yelling day by day. They grow stronger & more rigid towards our yelling
& we need to keep increasing our intensity on a regular basis. Have you thought,
how far can we go with this? Well, honestly I feel yelling is something which
requires more efforts & also add bitterness in our relationship with the
kids. And the biggest thing is in many cases is that kid also starts showing
such aggressive behavior which is simply our own reflection.
Alternatives
for our Rescue
When
I present my case against Yelling, I don’t escape without offering suitable alternatives.
So, let’s see some of the options which we parents still have which may help us
to get some discipline & obedience out of our kids.
·
Give clear instructions in calm yet firm voice with
proper eye-contact.
·
Take their acknowledgement of having heard you
properly.
·
Do not give threats but explain consequences.
·
Do not use the word punishment very often but make
sure to exercise consequences if they falter.
·
Explain & discuss emotions related to obedience
with them & be ready with logical answers for their queries with regards to
discipline.