Prepare Your Kid for Bullies
Bullying is indeed a reality of our society. No matter how much wish to control it; doesn’t end. When bullying happens to kids the irony is that the bully can also be a kid. Hence, our remedial or protective efforts also should be kinder & gentle. However, as parents it is our responsibility that we prepare our kids for such unpleasant situation. Like it is said that ‘prevention is better than cure’; this is ideal approach. Thus, our mind cultivation should ideally start at their young age. Nevertheless, if you come across such scenario later also; things can be managed.
The most favourable situation is when your kid share his misery with you. Here the help can easily start & at an early stage. However, in case your kid is a quite one & has habit of keeping things to self. You have to act little vigilant & proactive here. Always be attentive towards details. Things like sudden change in weight, acting low or constant wish to bunk school can be an alarming situation.
You as parent need to gain their confidence & help them open up about the situation. Refrain from reacting in first place & simply listen to them. Do not rush to school & complain to teacher/principal. Even if you do this make sure your kid has agreed upon it. Because, many kids don’t like to create a scene in front of their peers & refuse for direct conflict.
Start Helping Your Kid
As soon as you understand their situation, act fast but wise. Try to gather maximum details & also ask exactly how the kid is reacting to this. Also, being parent you must know strengths & weaknesses of your kid. So, try not to push their boundaries till uncomfortable levels. If the kid is not very confident in managing the scene spontaneously verbally, let it be.
· Praise them for holding the right ground & opening up to you.
· Provide verbal explicit assurance that you are with them in correcting the situation.
· First seek their suggestion on what best they think can be done, later provide your views.
· Ideal way is to involve bully’s parents alongside school counsellor/teacher as mediator; in case the bully has an issue with crossing the boundaries often.
Actually these tips are for the kids. However, you can share with your kid & help him implement them for getting out of the situation on their own. My first suggestion would be to first let the kid manage the scene & later if needed parents should intervene. It will help them become much more confident person in later life as well.
· Avoid the bully & use a friend to accompany whenever he/she is around (offer similar help to others).
· Hold on to your anger & use Poker Face instead.
· Refrain from smiling/laughing as it will provoke the bully.
· Be consistent with your approach, bully will surely get bored soon.
· At least try to act to be brave & walk away.
· Always tell an adult (may or may not need intervention).
· Keep sharing your experience & feelings to avoid feeling alone( with friend/counsellor/teacher/parent).
Bullying is indeed a menace but is also a reality. We should not live in denial & label our kid as brave or confident all the times. Being vulnerable is completely normal & sometimes all they need is our attention on the matter. So, always stay attentive & offer help within your boundaries.