Obedience...Understand Before Demanding
We all love well-behaved children. I come across many parents boasting about how wonderfully their kids behave at home & school. Well, I am not saying that there is anything wrong in behaving well but some of these kids are pressurised to immensely to behave like this which is the exact problem area. The society has already set a few rules for how people should behave. Hence, parents also expect that their kids should be trained to behave like that at a young age. But I would like to clear some misconceptions around this entire thought process.
· They Are Your Reflection
No matter what expectations we have from our kids. Ultimately, they end up becoming like us. Smallest of thing like time to waking up in morning or finishing tasks on time or reaching places on time is what they learn from us. If you want a child who is soft-spoken & well-behaved, do it yourself. You first be the person who demonstrates such behaviour consistently & your child will be your replica. But, please have patience & do not rush to achieve this target. Give him\her sufficient time.
· Let Them Be Free
When I think about obedience, I see many parents using their children as pets. They want them to dress, sit, walk & talk in the manner an adult does. Which is a senseless expectation, isn’t it? The cuteness, rawness & innocence a child has is what distinguishes her from us ‘the boring adults’. Why do we adults want to bind them in fixed formats & uniformly shape them? I strongly believe that if we give adequate freedom to our kids, each of them can become the most wonderful human beings.
· Do Not Hamper Independent Thinking
I came across a couple who had a wonderful girl child. They were obsessed with music. So, they surrounded her with all kinds of musical instruments & the child was expected to explore each instrument daily under professional supervision. When I spoke to this girl, she said I hate all these instruments. I love to play football. I was utterly shocked. She said my parents wouldn’t listen to me & always force me to play some or another instrument. If given a choice I would run out & play till my legs start hurting. Well, it is this ironical that these parents didn’t pay enough attention to her choice & forcibly pushed her to pursue something in the name of family tradition.
· Obedience is Overrated
I never understand why do we seek obedience from younger members of our family. At the same time, our families are filled with adults who behave & operate in any manner they want. Why this discrimination? Just because they are weaker than us? Or they are dependent on us? I know that all these are just questions, but I want all of you to introspect & answer them.
Conclusion: Prepare Them for The Tough World
When we seek absolute & unconditional obedience from our kids, unknowingly we are making them weak. This is a simple concept. As you want your kid to listen to you, obey your command & come up with lesser arguments, their brain will be conditioned to do the same elsewhere as well. In a nutshell, we are training them to be puppets without any say or thought. This is not a very desirable thing to do. Hence, let them get into healthy arguments with you & have their say in their life. This will prepare them in a better way for the future.