We all love our kids. Or let us be honest, we all like to think that we love our kids. However, have we ever thought that is our love passable for the child to be a secure & confident human being? The answer lies within you. If your love is unconditional which means free from restrictions, fears & stipulations it is adequate. As a parent, you should never be conveying spoken/unspoken messages to the child which direct the child to be somebody else in order to be loved.
Imbibing this might feel a little confusing but both the parents can start working from a few elementary aspects mentioned below.
First & foremost, do not pass comments or light/funny remarks on the physical traits of your child. It is very little he/she can do about the problem. Being a source of shame for something they cannot control is the most irresponsible act done by parents. We should not be making funny remarks on those chubby cheeks & funny looking nose. These remarks work as a scar on their self-confidence for a lifetime.
Your kid has reached to the world through you but not for you. You are allowed to nurture but not own. Honour their thoughts, methods, choices, dreams & ideologies. Another mistake parents commit is to change the behaviour of the child which is fiddling with their personality. Your child will learn from his own mistakes, your conduct & lessons learnt through experiences.
One way to show your child that you love them is to give respect. We all are rigidly raised in an environment which believes that respect is an entitled trophy for the elders only. This is a classic misconception which does nothing but harm to our kids. So if you want your child to respect you unconditionally, you should do the same.
Hear them Don’t Just See:
Traditionally families have conveniently ignored the existence of the kids in the house. They were primarily observed for obedience, social compliance & physical growth. This has to change immediately. They are just like other beings of the house with less strength & superior innocence. Their thoughts & choices should be taken in to account diligently.
Do not pass Negativity:
Most of the flaws in our parenting style have been gifted to us by our parents. In majority cases, we unknowingly become replicas of our own parents. The rejection & negativity which we received during our childhood, we pass it on to our kids thinking this is normal. We should always be open-minded to introspect & evolve since the day we become parents.
Parenting is a bilateral process of a lifetime. We should never forget that what we will give to our kids will come back to us & also be given ahead to their next generation. Love is such a tremendously powerful tool which can make or break a person. Parents should always bear in mind that their primary duty is to love & accept their child the way he/she is. This is a necessary & robust foundation of this beautiful relationship between a parent & kid.