Prepare Your Kid for Bullies
Bullying is indeed a
reality of our society. No matter how much wish to control it; doesn’t end.
When bullying happens to kids the irony is that the bully can also be a kid.
Hence, our remedial or protective efforts also should be kinder & gentle.
However, as parents it is our responsibility that we prepare our kids for such
unpleasant situation. Like it is said that ‘prevention is better than cure’;
this is ideal approach. Thus, our mind cultivation should ideally start at
their young age. Nevertheless, if you come across such scenario later also;
things can be managed.
Identify
Signs
The most favourable
situation is when your kid share his misery with you. Here the help can easily
start & at an early stage. However, in case your kid is a quite one &
has habit of keeping things to self. You have to act little vigilant & proactive
here. Always be attentive towards details. Things like sudden change in weight,
acting low or constant wish to bunk school can be an alarming situation.
You as parent need to
gain their confidence & help them open up about the situation. Refrain from
reacting in first place & simply listen to them. Do not rush to school
& complain to teacher/principal. Even if you do this make sure your kid has
agreed upon it. Because, many kids don’t like to create a scene in front of
their peers & refuse for direct conflict.
Start
Helping Your Kid
As soon as you
understand their situation, act fast but wise. Try to gather maximum details
& also ask exactly how the kid is reacting to this. Also, being parent you
must know strengths & weaknesses of your kid. So, try not to push their
boundaries till uncomfortable levels. If the kid is not very confident in
managing the scene spontaneously verbally, let it be.
·
Praise them for holding the right ground & opening
up to you.
·
Provide verbal explicit assurance that you are with
them in correcting the situation.
· First seek their suggestion on what best they think
can be done, later provide your views.
· Ideal way is to involve bully’s parents alongside
school counsellor/teacher as mediator; in case the bully has an issue with
crossing the boundaries often.
Smart Tips
Actually these tips are
for the kids. However, you can share with your kid & help him implement
them for getting out of the situation on their own. My first suggestion would
be to first let the kid manage the scene & later if needed parents should
intervene. It will help them become much more confident person in later life as
well.
· Avoid the bully & use a friend to accompany
whenever he/she is around (offer similar help to others).
·
Hold on to your anger & use Poker Face instead.
·
Refrain from smiling/laughing as it will provoke the
bully.
·
Be consistent with your approach, bully will surely
get bored soon.
·
At least try to act to be brave & walk away.
·
Always tell an adult (may or may not need
intervention).
· Keep sharing your experience & feelings to avoid
feeling alone( with friend/counsellor/teacher/parent).
Bullying is indeed a
menace but is also a reality. We should not live in denial & label our kid
as brave or confident all the times. Being vulnerable is completely normal
& sometimes all they need is our attention on the matter. So, always stay
attentive & offer help within your boundaries.