Obedience...Understand Before Demanding
We all
love well-behaved children. I come across many parents boasting about how
wonderfully their kids behave at home & school. Well, I am not saying
that there is anything wrong in behaving well but some of these kids are
pressurised to immensely to behave like this which is the exact problem area.
The society has already set a few rules for how people should behave. Hence,
parents also expect that their kids should be trained to behave like that at a
young age. But I would like to clear some misconceptions around this entire thought
process.
·
They Are Your Reflection
No matter what expectations we have from our kids. Ultimately,
they end up becoming like us. Smallest of thing like time to waking up in
morning or finishing tasks on time or reaching places on time is what they learn
from us. If you want a child who is soft-spoken & well-behaved, do it
yourself. You first be the person who demonstrates such behaviour consistently & your child will be your replica. But, please have patience
& do not rush to achieve this target. Give him\her sufficient time.
·
Let Them Be Free
When I think about obedience, I see many parents using
their children as pets. They want them to dress, sit, walk & talk in the
manner an adult does. Which is a senseless expectation, isn’t it? The
cuteness, rawness & innocence a child has is what distinguishes her from us
‘the boring adults’. Why do we adults want to bind them in fixed formats & uniformly shape them? I strongly believe that if we give adequate freedom
to our kids, each of them can become the most wonderful human
beings.
·
Do Not Hamper Independent Thinking
I came across a couple who had a wonderful girl child.
They were obsessed with music. So, they surrounded her with all kinds of
musical instruments & the child was expected to explore each instrument
daily under professional supervision. When I spoke to this girl, she said I
hate all these instruments. I love to play football. I was utterly shocked. She
said my parents wouldn’t listen to me & always force me to play some or
another instrument. If given a choice I would run out & play till my legs
start hurting. Well, it is this ironical that these parents didn’t pay enough attention
to her choice & forcibly pushed her to pursue something in the name of
family tradition.
·
Obedience is Overrated
I never understand why do we seek obedience from younger members of our family. At the same
time, our families are filled with adults who behave & operate in any manner
they want. Why this discrimination? Just because they are weaker than us? Or
they are dependent on us? I know that all these are just questions, but I want
all of you to introspect & answer them.
Conclusion: Prepare Them for The Tough World
When we
seek absolute & unconditional obedience from our kids, unknowingly we are
making them weak. This is a simple concept. As you want your kid to listen to
you, obey your command & come up with lesser arguments, their brain will be
conditioned to do the same elsewhere as well. In a nutshell, we are training
them to be puppets without any say or thought. This is not a very desirable
thing to do. Hence, let them get into healthy arguments with you & have
their say in their life. This will prepare them in a better way for the
future.